Quiet sex and a little violence

Women were surprising tonight.

The first involved a young slim lady and a male who was perhaps three times the size of this woman. They were arguing about 100metres away from me and quite aggressive. Within a few minutes they were into the physical fighting, only it was not the way one would expect. She began hitting into him with full force. Another bouncer and myself watched on in disbelief. She continued on with him cowering and trying to get away. Eventually I called the local law enforcement officers to deal with it. The next thing you know we are swamped with Police cars and officers. Quite a circus really.

The second involved another young lady who was partying with five other guys. I noticed her both on the dance floor, moving her hips in an overtly sexual way, and later on a couch deliberately parting her legs for each guy. Keep in mind she was wearing jeans. Shortly afterwards, I was checking the toilets and overheard two of the gentlemen with her having a conversation. “So yeah, she will do us all!” said one very cheerfully. The other in an inquisitorial tone asked who would go first. Well, then came the surprise, “Well she’s my girlfriend so I go first!” said the first guy.

Troubled youth

Being that a big event was occurring at a nearby city, it was understandably peaceful tonight.

Two kids walked down the street. One drinking a beer in an open glass. They approached the door and I explained their were breaking the law, so they couldn’t come in. After much negotiation on their side they left. Preceded by the local police who let me know they were refused entry everywhere else, they came around the corner. The police questioned them at length then they came past me and told me they were fined $190 for drinking in a dry zone.

A young gentleman who was a little inebriated requested entry. I gave him the benefit of doubt after he said, “he mate, you know I won’t cause any trouble”. About 1 hour later, after he had already left, he was picking fights with people in the street.

Measured justice

Change of pace for tonight. Ordinarily I’m on the door, but with a new bouncer learning the ropes, he took the door while I went inside.

It has been a long time since I was inside. You have an opportunity to observe patrons a little more and size them up. Speaking of sizing, I was writing down some times in my security notebook of activities when a buxomness blond of my vintage asked what I was writing about her? Without paying that much attention to her I flippantly said “your measurements!”. That earned extra focus from her. She pointed at her strapless dress to where her breasts were and said “well, these are smaller, but not by much more than these” at which she then pointed to her hips. Then, she asked if I would like to see more, to which I politely declined.

A rather chubby young male was outside having some free air as I visited my colleague. A female was leaving just as she discovered her fiancée, that is, husband for tomorrow, was inside. On exiting the building the chubby man said, “why you marrying that poofer?” (this is a colloquial term referring to him being gay). Well the young bride to be, who was certainly slender in size took great offence to that comment and firmly decked the man. This was a surprise to us all…

Underwear and visible lines

Tonight I performed a double take on a discussion. A lady (very loose term) asked another female friend as she walked up the stairs, “hey, where is your thong?”. She was obviously referring to her underwear which was clearly visible because of the short skirt. The female friend replied that she had ’swapped’ underwear with another friend who was still waiting outside.

Now the only question in my mind was if the 3^rd friend was indeed wearing any or not. Needless to say, good hygiene and taste was amiss in this group.

Yes we are busy if there is a line up outside. However, some people have a screwed up logic when it comes to lines. This weekend several said, that the venue was a ’shit hole’ because you had to line up. That is a bit of a contradiction. If indeed it was an undesirable location, then people would not line up for over an hour and pay for the privilege to gain entry.

Busy drunks

Recently, the volume of patrons has become erratic. We go from zero to full in a matter of minutes and then drift off to empty as the night lags on. Saturday was no different. Open the doors and nothing. Then with 30 minutes we were full. People just came out from everywhere. Possibly trying to beat the cover charge time, I don’t know.

With lots of work Christmas shows and break-ups, life is not dull.

After comfortably refusing half a dozen intoxicated patrons, I had a challenger. Through his incoherent talking he requested that I identify the intoxication symptoms that I noticed. His first question was, “what month were you born in”. Oh yeah, I’m going to answer a person question to a drunk! I explained that his unsteadiness on his feet, the slurring of his words, his pupils being dilated, and his argumentative behaviour are the key ingredients for me.

Eventually the usual run around in a circle questioning got the better of me. So with another bouncer standing behind him, I called on the radio for Police presence for a male refusing to leave. Under the law, once I refuse his entry he is not permitted within 50 metres of the entrance and that when the Police arrive he may face a fine or be arrested, this I explained to him.

Finally, only after pulling rank, he left. I admit, I was a little tired and not my normal sharp self.

Multicultural night again

There are some really, really nice people around, and some ugly ones too. I’m not referring to their visual appearance here, but more-so their demeanour. Tonight I met a Switzerland backpacker; he was accompanied by a German girl who was talking to a Canadian. Then the cricketers from Pakistan dropped in and a Tasmanian.

It’s not often I remark on the attractiveness of people, but the German lady grabbed my attention. Actually, I think the entire male population had focused on her. Aside from natural looks, she speaks five languages fluently and is studying medicine.

All was rosy until the Tasmanian lady lost the plot and was refused service. One bouncer attempted to remove this average build, mid 20’s lady and was thrown against the wall. I seized her right arm and was subsequently thrown too. Fortunately for us, we had the local Police in attendance for a general check; four in fact. So it took four Police officers, two male, two female, and us two bouncers to remove this woman from the premises.

Multicultural night again.

There are some really, really nice people around, and some ugly ones too. I’m not referring to their visual appearance here, but more-so their demeanour. Tonight I met a Switzerland backpacker; he was accompanied by a German girl who was talking to a Canadian. Then the cricketers from Pakistan dropped in and a Tasmanian.

It’s not often I remark on the attractiveness of people, but the German lady grabbed my attention. Actually, I think the entire male population had focused on her. Aside from natural looks, she speaks five languages fluently and is studying medicine.

All was rosy until the Tasmanian lady lost the plot and was refused service. One bouncer attempted to remove this average build, mid 20’s lady and was thrown against the wall. I seized her right arm and was subsequently thrown too. Fortunately for us, we had the local Police in attendance for a general check; four in fact. So it took four Police officers, two male, two female, and us two bouncers to remove this woman from the premises.

Boxers and Super Stars

Some time ago I had an altercation with a bunch of boxer groupies. I ended up being somewhat damaged with a bitten face, gouging to eyes and mouth, kicked in the head and stomach, but recovered well. The guys that caused it were dealt with by the law and more importantly by their own club. They and some of their friends returned tonight. I was not in the least bit uncomfortable and they were extremely polite and sober. Life and people change.

On a brighter note, it was a fancy dress evening with people dressed in a teenage mutant ninja turtle outfit, a pirate, a banana and more impressive than all, super woman who had recently undergone boob enhancement surgery. She was the biggest hit!

Provocating blue dress

Grabbing the boss’s girlfriend, unsolicited, on the ass is a sure fire method of being removed, barred, trampled upon. Only in this fellow’s case, after leaving the premises and trying to grab the ass of two other girls, who were in passionate embraces with their respective men, was, quite seriously provocation. When the guys chased the fellow into a crowd and lost him, I figured he would be back.

It only took about 5 minutes for his return. Then we had a gentleman leaving who was also interested taking on others. Sure enough, these two crossed paths near the next venue and there were security staff, street patrol security, Police, public … every man and his dog in a melee.

One ended on the ground and later in the rear of a Police car, the other mouthed his way into the distance, something akin to hold me back or I will hurt you, I think.

It is nice to see other women coming to the aide of their intoxicated gender. A young lady with a short figure hugging blue dress was there for anybody. Smooching and being felt up by a couple of guys. Often her dress road up to reveal her lingerie, but that is where her friend would pop in and recover her dignity.

Grabbing the boss’s girlfriend, unsolicited, on the ass is a sure fire method of being removed, barred, trampled upon. Only in this fellows case, after leaving the premises and trying to grab the ass of two other girls, who were in passionate embraces with their respective men, was quite seriously provocation. When the guys chased the fellow into a crowd and lost him, I figured he would be back.

It only took about 5 minutes for his return. Then we had a gentleman leaving who was also interested taking on others. Sure enough, these two crossed paths near the next venue and there were security staff, street patrol security, Police, public … every man and his dog in a melee.

One ended on the ground and later in the rear of a Police car, the other mouthed his way into the distance, something akin to hold me back or I will hurt you, I think.

It is nice to see other women coming to the aide of their intoxicated gender. A young lady with a short figure hugging blue dress was there for anybody. Smooching and being felt up by a couple of guys. Often her dress road up to reveal her lingerie, but that is where her friend would pop in and recover her dignity.

Boobs, bikies and barely legal

This weekend is combined in the one post.

Discussion on the technicalities of various trivial items with the boss’s partner was rudely interrupted when 50 metres down the road we noticed a young male running around the corner, closely followed by a young female minus her top. The boobs, they were large and swinging. They both bobbed down and we waited. Then he sprung up and began legging it across the other side of the street. At this stage, she had recovered her top and covered up, but she decided to pursue this man and in doing so, lost her strapless top again.

Having received this information before and met with the people in question, when we were advised that bikies were in town again it was of no major concern. In fact, while managing a ‘probie’ (his terminology) who got all tight around the neck with the news, I met the bikies for 10 seconds as the walked past. They are normal people with close friends who would do anything for them.

Still they come trying their best. Children, or girls who believe they look old enough to be with the women. Yep, another bunch of girls with ID’s that clearly state they are 17 (legal age here is 18). Only this time, instead of stating the obvious, I said “ok… you can come in” she looked at me with brightness in her eyes, then I continued with “next year, when you are 18!”. I couldn’t help myself.

 

How to annoy a bouncer

The theme for tonight was underage. Two specific incidents occurred that were to do with underage people. Now normally I am extremely strict on who gets in with regards to age limits. However tonight I failed!

A gentleman and native New Zealander has been coming to this venue for several months. I have checked his ID before and satisfied that we was over 18. Tonight, he was standing with me for a while and then a Police car pulled up. An officer talked to him and the patron left. Then the officer spoke to me. Now before I explain exactly what occurred, you should know that we have an excellent relationship with the Police. That said, this did not fit into that category.

Mr Police Man told me that the individual in question was underage. Being a bit confused I asked him to clarify which person he was talking about. We agreed on the identity of the individuals and then I made the mistake of asking the officer if he was sure? Well, this Police officer got very angry very quickly and began dressing me down about assumptions and turning the venue over. To which I calmly invited him in any time he wants.

A little later the patron returned and being quite concerned I asked to see his ID. The DOB made his age 19, it wasn’t expired, which is usually the case and the picture matched the person. The usual security features were all there. So being completely dismayed, I asked him, considering his valid ID says he is over age, why was to officer telling me he wasn’t? To which, the young man replied “because I’m not 18”. Needless to say, I was very annoyed and disappointed.

However, the next case solidified my confidence. The next nearest venue called me to give me the heads up on some young girls approaching. They suggested I scrutinise their ID carefully. Sure enough, one had an expired ID of her sisters. This one was a little too obvious. But when I declined her access, she when right off her tree. I was a little surprise and then politely told them to go away.